Addendum on Loving One's Enemies

Another take I’ve heard on loving one’s enemy [see my previous post] is to recognize, as Carl Jung suggested, that what you see out in the world as “enemy” is a projection of your own shadow: those thoughts, feelings, and impulses that we deny having within ourselves. One way to recognize our shadow is to take note of what triggers us in other people and begin a gentle inquiry into that; work on bringing what is hidden into the light so it can be integrated in a healthy way. This is valuable inner work. Yet it’s also true that there are objective, external enemies who are not solely projections of disowned aspects of our selves. This may seem like an obvious recognition, but I frequently see people advising others to “embrace your inner [fill in a despicable name],” as a cure-all -- as if reality is primarily subjective. No. Reality is messy, complex, inner, outer, personal, collective, perceivable and beyond perceivable. Overprioritizing the internal and minimizing the external—especially when faced with collective, global anguish—is a form of spiritual bypassing.

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Brother David Steindl-Rast’s suggestion, from his Gratefulness.org site, invites a more spacious, expansive approach to seeing one’s enemy that might free us from hyperfocusing on an individual or on a current moment: “In cultivating compassion, it may help to visualize your enemies as the children they once were (and somehow remain.)” I found assistance in doing by reading a book about our leader that discussed the difficulties of his childhood – growing up in a loveless home, neglected, bullied, driven by pathological agendas – emotionally and spiritually stunted through no fault of his own. My reactivity starts to soften up as I receive this perspective. The enemy we see today is the result of what has occurred before, in the larger picture that spans decades and generations. Further, what is happening today has less to do with any individual “enemy” than with a long accumulation of sociohistorical and cultural enactments that are reaching a critical tipping point, with our current leadership arising more as symptom than cause. And like boats in a cresting river, we are all caught up in this together. 

One compassionate choice we can make at this moment, for friend, enemy, and stranger, is to peacefully (I hope!) remove unhealthy and abusive leaders from the roles they presently occupy, then continue the long work of healing, tending, binding together, sustaining…