Gift from La Luna

I keep a journal, most of which I keep private. But sometimes there are nuggets that are "blogworthy." In the interest of "getting out there" more as a writer (as far as a publicly viewable but generally unknown blog allows, lol), I'm going to share an entry from time to time... 

(From March 21, 2025)

Last night, after I fell asleep in the reclining chair while re-watching an episode of Lodge 49, Kirk covered me with a blanket to make sure I wouldn’t get cold. We do this for each other … Kirk frequently falls asleep on the couch, I on the chair… and when one of us decides to pull out of this bad sleep hygiene moment and go to bed, usually in the middle of the night, we will cover the other with a blanket. We no longer try to wake each other up – we have mutually decided that it’s just better, at that late point, to let the other continue sleeping unless or until we make our own decision to go to the bedroom to continue sleeping.

This time I was graced with a sweet gift. It was maybe 3 or 4 in the morning, and Luna [now nearly two years old], purring, came over and crawled into my blanketed lap. I petted her for a few moments, and she remained in my lap for longer than the usual 20 seconds or so. She stayed for quite a while and fell asleep herself, purring more softly as she entered into a deeper slumber.

And that’s the first time that has happened.

Usually, Luna might attempt to sit in my lap but because she tends to dig her claws and “knead” me – I pull her paws away, and she generally takes that as a signal to get off my lap. I intend it as “don’t dig your claws in, sweetie,” but of course she doesn’t understand. This time, however, the blanket (plus the extra cushioning provided by my bathrobe), provided buffering from her kneading, so it ended up not being an issue. Thus, we have mutually discovered the secret to napping together with her on my lap.

It was the sweetest hour (or so) there, half-zonked out in the recliner with Luna purring and snoozing in my lap. It felt like she was just letting all her felinity and trust and animal affection radiate out from her warm body, granting me the delight of her silky, slumbering company in those liminal moments where waking and sleeping and dreaming cozily merge into a hypnagogic bliss.

When I finally emerged from the chair – later, after she had left to attend to the rest of her nocturnal to-do list, I felt like I’d been given some subtle antidepressant. I was still tired and needed more rest (in fact, I went to bed and slept until noon!), but I felt bathed, tenderized, kissed.

So let me claim that at the top of my gratitude list for today, alongside the blue sky and warm sun and birdsong of early spring.

Centering Prayer and Sacred Breath

A member of my Centering Prayer group asked a good question about using the breath (versus a word) as one's "sacred symbol" during this silent meditative practice. (The sacred symbol is a word, breath, or inward glance that's returned to after one notices they've gotten caught up in actively thinking about something). Drawing on what I have learned over the years from guides like Thomas Keating, David Frenette, Cynthia Bourgeault, and others -- here is my response to her question. I hope it helps to clarify. 

Q: The whole discussion [we had about] using the breath...............there is a very subtle distinction of using the breath to escape our thoughts … or the practice of CP which sees the thoughts and then dismisses them; returning again and again to God.  Even returning to the breath is not what we want (that is my understanding); although it's helpful to get out of a mind maze.  We just want to be surrendered and open............yes?

A: Centering Prayer (CP) does hold a distinction between “returning to or noticing the breath” as a sacred symbol (an alternative to using a sacred word) versus actively following the breath. When the breath is a sacred symbol, it is used the same way as the sacred word is used: as an aid in returning to your intention to consent to God’s presence and action, i.e., to surrender. Then, once intention is re-established, the symbol doesn’t need to be continually repeated. Following the breath would bring “thoughts” and a kind of focus and concentration into the practice – and it would no longer be considered Centering Prayer. It could make a fine meditation practice, for sure – it’s just not CP as Keating taught it. And Keating might even suggest a “following the breath” practice as an optional companion “active” practice to CP – but he would hold that it is not the same thing as CP itself. He would likely say, “you might do this before or after your Centering Prayer.”

Christian Meditation, at least as I learned it when I tried it out years ago, is a mantric practice that includes the breath. One repeats the mantra “Maranantha,” (translation: “Come, Lord Jesus”) continually, inhaling on the first syllable (“Ma”), exhaling on the second syllable (“ra”), inhaling on the third syllable (“na”), & exhaling on the final syllable (“tha”). The current guide for the Christian Meditation lineage, Fr. Laurence Freeman, was good friends with Keating, and there are a few recorded dialogues with the two of them admitting that while CM & CP are distinct practices, they “lead to the same place.” CM is a focused, concentrative practice, while CP is a receptive, surrender practice. Concentrative practices, they both claim, become more receptive over time. (With CM, I heard, one notices over time that the mantra disappears of its own accord). Some people are more temperamentally inclined to concentrative practices, at least initially. I noticed that when my mind was especially busy and chattery, having the anchor of a mantric word-breath practice was very stabilizing.

Richard Rohr has also suggested using “Yahweh” as a kind of sacred meditative breath-word – inhaling on Yah and exhaling on Weh…. And then there’s James Finley, who suggested expressing “I love you” to God while exhaling, then receiving from God the same phrase “I love you” while inhaling.

Anyway, I have gone on and on…!  But these are fine questions to ask and good distinctions to make: ideas to take seriously and also to hold lightly, with good cheer, as Freeman and Laurence and Rohr have done in their dialogues with one another.

--Mary W.